Travel Giggles

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I don't have the best travel luck on earth. Delays, cancellations, really weird experiences, you name it. This week I went to Minneapolis for 24 hours. Here's how it played out:

Tuesday:
Flight scheduled to depart Denver at 8:15 pm

9:15 am- check in on line message "you are on the waitlist for an upgrade. online check in is not available at this time. Please try again later."

noon- see above message

2:00- still see above message

3:00- Monsoon season in Denver. Storms roll in.

4:30- still no check in available

5:00- wanting to avoid any issues, I leave for the airport in a flash flood warning from above named storm. Had to pull over on the tollway because wipers couldn't keep up with rainfall.

6:00- finally get to airport. Park. Escalator to second level for check in. Get in line to check in. get to front of line and lady says, "I don't work for United. You'll have to go down there to the first class line to check in."

6:30- get to front of first class line and lady says "ma'am, this line is for first class passengers only." I replied with, "I know. But the line for status holders down there is being manned by a woman who doesn't work for United and is sending us all down here. Maybe you should talk to her about that." Pissy, I know.

6:45- First class check in lady give me a non-first class boarding pass, much to her chagrin, and sends me on my way.

7:45- board the plane ON TIME! HOORAY!!

8:15- plane pushes back from gate.

8:30- we are #6 for take off

8:45- the wind switches directions and we have to change runways.

9:00- we finally take off. Bumpy as all get out. Have to resort to some meditation I learned from Yoga and a "How to Meditate" book. The alternative is crying. I think I chose the right way to deal with the fear.

11:15- scheduled to land in Minneapolis

11:30- actually land. 15 minutes late is not that bad.

11:33- call hotel shuttle. It will be there in 5 or 10 minutes.

Midnight- call hotel shuttle again. It will be there in 5 or 10 minutes. Coworkers specifically said NOT to take a cab by myself. Not sure why. They are locals. I trust them.

12:15 am- really annoyed. Got in a cab. He starts driving and I haven't told him where I am going. I said Hilton and he said something in Haitian and kept driving. Sent text message to Chris telling him I am in cab and should be at hotel in 10 minutes. if not, send search party.

12:30 am- check in to Hilton near airport. Desk clerk says, "I see you booked a king room for one night." Indeed. Other desk clerk runs over and says, "no, we are holding that king room for another guest. you will have to give her another room." First clerk says, "sorry about that. How about 2 double beds." Whatever. I booked a king, it's the middle of the night, any bed in a non smoking room will be fine.

12:45 am- booked in room 712. Get to 7th floor, walk the green mile (seriously, really long hallway with green carpet!) only to find a Do-Not-Disturb sign hung on the door. Walk the green mile back to the elevator bank to find hotel phone. Call.

12:47. Idiot clerk says he'll meet me here and bring me a key to a different room.

12:55- Idiot clerk brings me key to room 601 and offers to walk me to my room. Then offered to carry my luggage. I have a backpack. Just a backpack. Nope, thanks, I got it.

1:00- Open my door and start tearing through backpack to find toiletries to get ready for bed. Brush teeth.

1:10 - Idiot clerk knocks on door to apologize for all the trouble and give me access to the executive lounge during my stay. I look at the clock. Coworker picking me up in 6 hours. Thanks for the offer. The lounge is closed. Confirms in my mind he's an idiot. He said it included breakfast. maybe a little less of an idiot now.

1:25- finally lights out. Toss, turn, toss turn.

6:00- get out of bed. Shower and go to breakfast.

7:00- fancy-pants executive lounge breakfast. Hot and Fresh. No hot or fresh anything. Attendant going to make more. Be back in 15-20 minutes. Yeah. I've heard that one before. Settle for 2 cans of diet coke (one for the road) and some cantaloupe (they were out of bananas and all other fresh fruits) and call it a morning.

7:20- laugh to myself that I thought breakfast would redeem the Hilton. Sigh. There's always the emergency Kashi bar in my backpack.

7:30- Katie picked me up, 4 of us worked from a Caribou coffee all day.

5:00- Katie takes me back to the airport.

The rest was so uneventful in comparison that it's not even worth mentioning. Home and in my own bed by 10:15.

And in three more sleeps I will be in my new house!