Wednesday, September 14, 2011

A letter to fruit

Dear Fruit,
I love you.  I mean REALLY love you.  And not just the you in pies (although, I really love that version of you too!).  I have decided that I could probably live on you, fruit, as well as bread, cheese and peanut butter. 

Earlier this week I bought a bag of you in the form of clementines.  You are perfect and juicy and sweet and easy to peel.  Can one really ask for more than that in you?  Yep. One can.  Seedless. 

When your grapes have seeds, I can eat them.  They are bitter, but edible.  When your clementines have seeds they are bitter and really crunchy and one really shouldn't eat them (I am making that up.  Maybe what I mean is that I WON'T eat them).  When each of your clementine sections has 2 ginormous seeds, not only do I have to pick them out, but you are totally gypping me on the amount of deliciousness you usually provide. 

So, in conclusion, oh loveable fruit.  Please ask your packagers to label you appropriately.  There's nothing worse than buying you "seedless" only to find out you are full of seeds.

You R. Whatyoueat

Monday, September 12, 2011


We have been DirecTV subscribers for years now.  Sure there have been stints with Cable from time to time, but we always come back to DirecTV.  And the remote control is always the same.  It's at the point now where I can, without looking down or turning on a light, navigate through the guide, my list of recoded programs, and the movie channels in the dark.

Operating that remote control is no different than any other repetitive chore that I've been doing for years.  It's as easy as making the bed, doing my hair and driving a car.  It just happens with little thought. 

We returned home late Saturday night from our week-long vacation in Florida.  Yesterday morning there was laundry and grocery shopping to be done before vegging out in front of the TV for some last minute relaxing before getting back to the daily grind.

It was great to have my familiar remote in my hand as I navigated from channel to channel and caught up on my recorded programs.  But my remote was sluggish,  I mean REALLY sluggish.  I was driving me nuts.  Then I realized that while it had a vacation from my hands, it's  batteries hadn't been recharged (or in this case replaced) in a very long time.  That poor thing was a burned out as I had been.

So, after replacing the batteries I sat back, flipped channels and thought to myself, "I guess we all needed our batteries recharged from time to time." 

It's good to be home, but it's even better to have fresh perspective and recharged batteries. 

Thursday, September 1, 2011

End of the story

Wow.  I haven't blogged in what seems like weeks, and here I am posting 2 in one day!

Today, I am sad to report that our neighbors, witness protection from Jersey and and his Russia spy girlfriend, Anthony and Natasha, are moving out today.

I do not know for certain that Anthony is in the witness protection program, but he is from New Jersey with the thickest NJ accent I've ever heard and he did have to go out of town for a couple weeks not too long ago.  And his sisters wouldn't say where he was.  It was weird. And I also know for a fact that Natasha is Russian, but I don't know if she's really a spy.  But it makes for a great story in my imagination. 

Over the past 12 months, we've heard the most amusing things.  Like last November when we had a warm day, Anthony got the ladder out and climbed on the roof wearing jeans, a wife beater and a Santa hat.  When Natasha asked him what he was doing, his response was, "what do you think I'm doing?  I hanging the f-ing Christmas like you told me to."  To which Natasha replied in her thick Russian accent, "With a f-ing staple gun."  All outside my office window.  Funniest work day EVER!

He drives a cliche red Cadillac (early 2000 model) and twice a week he'd pull it out of the garage into the driveway, crank the radio volume on the local classic rock station, and sing along in his Jersey accent as he washed his car.  Again, always wearing a wife beater.

It's been hours of endless entertainment right out my office window.  And as we've gotten to know them over the past year, they are actually very nice people, with a super sweet son (his name is Christopher!!) and are the kind of neighbors that would do anything to help you in a bind.  I am actually sad to see them go.

Anthony said he met the new renters and they are a young couple with a couple of kids.  That sounds nice.  Far less entertaining, but nice.  I wonder what imaginary life I can concoct about the new family?  Who wants to help me get started?  Maybe I should meet them first before I start the make-believe!

Snapping out of it

If an object in motion tends to stay in motion and an object at rest will stay at rest, I am not sure if I am moving or resting. 

Work stuff is moving at warp-speed.  New clients every week and so much exciting stuff happening.  But my house is full of dog hair and we didn't feel like cooking dinner last night.  So I was in motion and lazy all at the same time.

I think the answer is that we just need a change of scenery.  An opportunity to go unplugged and enjoy one last summer event.  For six months, Saturday mornings included long runs which prevented us from exploring the mountains as we typically do to beat the summer heat.  You'd think with all that running, I would have my fill of fresh air, but it's not the same.  I am ready to feel the wind on my face because it's windy, not because I am running fast.  So I guess that means I really want to be an object at rest for a few days. 

On Sunday we leave for Islamorada, FL for the week.  I think sea breeze and spotty cell phone service is just what we are looking for to refresh our perspectives and renew our energy.  And by the time we get home, the forecast is showing that window opening season will have resumed...which will also be a nice change of pace. It's been unusually warm here. We had 21 days in August that were over 90 and 20 in July.  I am more ready for sweatshirt weather than I have been in a really long time.  Well, since the 6 months we lived in Austin, TX anyway.

So, we are snapping out of this funk ASAP!  A week with no dogs and no dog hair.  A week of sea breezes and someone else to make the bed.  A week of bathing suits and warm water and sand between my toes.  It all sounds heavenly.  And it's only 3 days away!