Friday, October 29, 2010

The End of My Perfect Record

My record of 30+ perfect years is over. And I can't help but laugh about it. I find this so funny that I have to share even though this probably falls in the category of WAY too much information.

On Wednesday night while I was still in Dallas, I was able to meet one of my best girlfriends and her 11 month old daughter for dinner. And I use the term "dinner" very loosely! Tanya (my friend) knew that Milla (her daughter) would only be OK for about an hour because her bedtime is 7:30 and she HATES riding in the car. So we rushed through one taco and a glass of water, some quick conversation and they were off to get Milla to bed.

In the meantime, I had to pee and had been holding it for an hour or so, which is entire TOO LONG. Once Tanya left I was lugging my suitcase, purse and laptop bag through the streets of "The Shops at Legacy" waiting for my in-laws to pick me up. I was not about to haul all that into the ladies room of a restaurant or store. So I continued to hold it.

Finally, my in-laws showed up and we headed to their house for the night--only a 15ish minute drive. But not before stopping at Chick-Fill-A for a little dinner for them. OMG. I thought I was going to burst. We got home and Carolyn (my mother-in-law) declared it comfy clothes time before we tuned in to the Rangers baseball game. I ran to my bedroom, grabbed my jammies and then ran to the bathroom relieved that I would be relieved in a few moments.

So, in an effort to conserve time, I stripped off my jeans and was putting my pajama bottoms on while sitting down, and this all seemed to happen simultaneously. And then I felt the warming. I realized that I still had my underwear on. Yep, that's right. I still had my underwear on. But instead of dealing with the problem right then I decided to continue down the stream...pun intended. And in my defense, I realized yesterday that my habit is to grab the side of my underwear along with the side of my pants so it all happens in one swoop.

So, when finished, I realized that I now had an entirely different problem to contend with. What to do with the underwear. Well, it just so happens that my face cleansing cloths had been drying out so I was keeping them in a sandwich-sized baggie. There were only a couple cloths left anyway so I took them out, managed to get my wet underwear to the sink, rinse them out and stick them in the baggie.

As soon as I got home, I started to get the load of laundry ready. Chris and I were talking while I was digging through my suitcase putting everything into the laundry basket when he saw the baggie and asked. I blushed and proceeded to tell the story. He was laughing so hard he was crying. He managed to say, "Oh, you SOOOO have to blog that one!!" So I am. He also said the funniest part of the story is that I cut it off mid-stream and made the decision to continue my business rather than dealing with it. I could only respond with "well, now you know how bad I really had to go."

So, there you go. A perfect 30 + years ruined by one misunderstanding with my underwear. I hope all of you are laughing and not gagging! Happy Friday!


  1. Only you could tell this kind of story so well that I am still smiling:) My memory of a waited-to-long ended with out an "accident" and I hadn't thought of it in years. Picture a 10th grade girl at summer camp, a whole group of kids piled in a car, sitting on your boy friends lap (no seat belt law then) and the driver gets LOST on the way back to camp from bowling ... and I had to go before we left but even then didn't truse a bowling alley bathroom. Did I mention the road was also bumpy? I was in sooo much pain from holding it! Other good memories out there?

  2. OMG, I laughed until I well, almost wet my pants, and yes, tears were streaming down my face.

    Seriously, the funniest part of the story for me was envisioning Chris, all stretched out on the end of the bed watching you unpack, you telling the story and then having HIM suggest this is a great blog topic, and he was right!

    It is always a good day when I laughs hard and long, mission accomplished guys!

  3. We have all had to go that badly. I was at a snowmobile race in Harrison when I was pregnant with you. I had a one piece snowmobile suit on and I had to go soooo bad that I thought I would burst. We ended up at a sleezy gas station and I washed the suit when I got home. Thanks Jenna!

  4. These are so funny. Penny, your story reminds me of Dave Pollak who was snowmobiling and had to go so bad (not pee) that he pulled off his suit and went in the woods.....except that his hood ended up in the wrong spot....

  5. You girls are gross!!! But I love you all anyway.