Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The hope of an angry momma bear...

Today is the day we've been waiting for since May 20.  Actually, this dates back way farther than that...like months and months.  Maybe even 9 or 10 months.  

Bryan has been through the ringer. Between the dozen ear infections in 6 months, the reflux, the persistent cough and the bazillion doctor appointments, I am amazed that he hasn't tried to run away yet!  We keep telling ourselves that despite the "concerning" weight loss and frequent typical childhood sickness, we have a really happy little boy.  Not only is he really happy, he's developmentally either right on or slightly ahead of the curve.  You'd never know by spending a day (or a week, or a month) with him that he's been through so much.  Even at his fussiest, he's not nearly as fussy as his otherwise healthy "friends" at daycare.  

Here's the list of what we are really hoping to learn today (emphasis on HOPING):
  1. We missed the mark on the dairy "allergy."  There really isn't one and we can start re-introducing dairy products again (or at least soy).
  2. We can stop giving him the toddler formula that costs $35 for 8 bottles, smells and tastes like a marshmallow and is 54% corn syrup (no joke. That's what the label indicates!)
  3. There is nothing anatomically, or physically "wrong" with Bryan.  The endoscopy tells us that he's totally normal.
  4. There are no other food allergies
  5. Our kid is just a really picky eater and we will have to keep trying new foods until we find what he loves the most
  6. He's gained enough weight that he's back on the growth chart and is no longer considered tiny for his age.  And even if he is tiny, we will just be happy if his growth trajectory is headed in the correct direction!
And here is what we are hoping our doctor will learn today (actually, he will learn this. I am taking a list with me!):
  1. When you tell parents that this is an urgent matter and that it cannot wait a month, you must also be prepared to arrange your schedule such that you can follow up with said parents in a reasonable amount of time.  
  2. A month later is not a reasonable amount of time.
  3. When you tell parents that you will take their call to discuss results so that they don't have to wait a month, you need to provide them with the best way to contact you. 
  4. Your medical assistant is not the best way to contact you.
  5. When a parent leaves a voice mail for your medical assistant asking questions two days after surgery, they expect a call-back the same day... or at least within 24 hours.
  6. When parents don't get called back, they will call again and leave a second message.  They expect a call back within 24 hours.
  7. If a parent has to call back a third time on a third day because nobody has returned their call, expect an earful from a pissed off mom.  
  8. I am that mom.  Sorry about your luck.
  9. If your medical assistant thinks it's OK to not respond to a distressed mom,  you need a new medical assistant. 
  10. If you piss of a mom, she'll tell everyone she knows, including the pediatrician and managing physician of the practice that sent her child to you.
  11. Make it right by the mom or she'll blog it, hashtag it and make sure the entire area knows how great you are but how lousy your practice is.  Don't expect your "best of the best" award for 2013.
I feel like this doctor is the Wizard of Oz.  He's capable of a lot of awesome stuff, but when you pull back the curtain, he's just a smart man with some fancy machines.  He's no better than we are. He just knows different stuff. But for him to perceptually hold the keys to our kingdom for a month has been tortuous.  Like flying monkeys and wicked witches tortuous.  

But in two hours, everything will be different.  I hope.

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