When you find out you are pregnant, lots of things happen simultaneously. And you learn a lot about your spouse that you never thought to ask. For example, I learned that not only had my husband NEVER changed a diaper, he had never touched a diaper, or even seen one up close for that matter. And all I could think was "holy you-know-what...what have I gotten myself into?"
As it turned out, Chris had read some article about a family who, as soon as they found out they were expecting, purchased diapers every time they went to the grocery store and by the time the baby actually arrived, they didn't have to buy any diapers for a year or something crazy. Chris thought we should give this a try, but while I saw value in the theory, I am somewhat superstitious, believe in Karma and love good juju so to me it seemed like a massive jinx. But I didn't speak up. Instead, I went to the grocery store and bought my first package of diapers. Holy WEIRD! When I got home, Chris asked if he could look at one. I saw this as my opportunity to encourage this behavior and try to make him comfortable with diaper-changing.
I actually convinced my husband that I could teach him to diaper a child that day. Here's how we practiced first:
Not to shabby for the first time EVER touching a diaper. But per Chris' request, he'd like to try on something with legs. I thought for a minute, ran up the stairs and pulled out my Ducky. Ducky was given to me after my first knee surgery in 1992...complete with a leg bandage and all. Ducky's knee healed years ago, but apparently now he needed a diaper:
He did pretty well. I know a child with MOVING legs will be significantly different than Diet Coke and Ducky, but this was a start.
When we were finished with the diapering of miscellaneous objects from around the house, I mentioned to Chris how worried I was about this diaper-buying thing and the bad juju it could bring us. And after thinking for a minute, he agreed. And that's when I told the story of the baby jar.
I am pretty sure this story dates back to 1976. Maybe earlier. I don't know for sure. Only Mom and Dad can confirm that. But when I was a kid, the cupboard near the microwave (just to the right) housed lots of things I don't remember and one thing that I remember vividly...the Baby Jar. It was a gallon-size glass McFarlane Dairy milk jug full of coins. I guess you could call it "spare" change, but it wasn't really spare. It had a purpose. As the legend goes, when the Baby Jar was completely full of coins, Mom and Dad would have enough money to go to the Embers for dinner, sans-kids.
Now, I am sure that money was used for something different when Garren and I were babies. If dinner at the Embers was its original intention, they likely would have found a more fitting name for the jug. So, let's say that when we were babies, it was used for baby stuff.
Well, I love the idea. And knowing that we are going to have bills up to our eyeballs from all the tests, ultrasounds, and let's not forget labor and delivery, we thought we'd upgrade the idea of the Baby Jar from one of coins to one of $20 bills. And since that's harder to conceal, we are keeping it in an envelope in an undisclosed location. Every time we go to King Soopers (our version of Kroger), we are taking $20 out in cash when we pay.
First payment from the Baby Jar: Paint the baby's room. We have just over $200 now, and that ought to cover the project. We will keep contributing as often as possible (or weekly at a minimum) and use the money for the bills that we know are on the way. And when those are finished, it will be used for fancy dinners out (assuming we can find a baby sitter...I hear they are making $20 an hour now. YIKES).
Side note to the Universe, Karma, juju and housing market: PLEASE LET OUR (collective) parents sell their (respective) homes in March or sooner. Please and thank you!!
Oh, yes. The baby jar. It bought a crib for you in 1976! $20 bucks at a time is a great idea.. Thanks for the good wishes to sell homes. Fingers crossed and crossed again.
ReplyDeleteOk, I laughed, I cried, I laughed and I cried again.
ReplyDeleteFirst I laughed at your choices of "practice babies". New-born babies do not move a lot when you change them. Chris will have time to learn to diaper. Practice means improvement, give him lots of practice time once the little guy is here.
I cried when I realized that you kids really do remember things from your/our past....I did green stamps to purchase baby stuff.
I laughed at your idea that you need to secure your $20 and not house them in an open McFarlane Dairy bottle on the counter, to bad as those bottles are so cute.
I cried (and crossed my finger for a "sold" sign) on the parent's houses. You have to remember that we will be relocating wonderful friends/neighbors to a new location and your gain will be our heartbreak. But, alas, the sale of their homes will mean we have a new place to visit and a place to start new traditions.
Our Houston kids pay $10.00 an hour for a sitter, but WHEN (soon) the grandparent's houses sell, I'll bet you will have many nights of grand-lovin-parents to hold that little guy while you go out for time for "mom and dad".
We are sooooo excited for you and Chris, not to mention the grandparents, joy, joy, joy!
This is made me laugh. I would never have thought to practice on a pop bottle! Great idea:)
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