I win.

If you know me well, you know that there are very few sports I haven't played. At one point or another, I think I've played a bit of everything, except maybe soccer. That's not to say that I played the sports well, but all I need are the basic guidelines (others call them rules) and I will give it a shot. And I am better at some things than others.

As an adult, "sports" have been more like games to fill some free time. I would much rather pretend to know what I am doing on a tennis court than throw a smackdown in a game of gin-rummy. BOOOOOORIIIIING! I think I inherited some gene that makes it difficult to sit still indoors if the weather is sunny...regardless of temperature.

Ironically, I married a man who likes movies and books. He played hockey when we first met, but it's difficult to put that sport down and pick up where you left off. It's a vicious cycle really. He also says he likes volleyball, but I bruise pretty easily and just don't understand why you would want to hit a ball with your body (other than a foot) on purpose (no offense to those of you who love the sport...it's just not my thing).

Recently, hubby informed me that he used to love playing racquetball in high school and college and he'd like to play again but wanted me to play with him. SURE!! That's one I've never tried, but how hard can it be to get a racket, some ugly white shoes and safety glasses and knock a super bouncy ball off some walls for an hour.

I got the gist of the rules, put my gear on and we hit the court! Here's what I learned about myself, the sport, and the importance of skill in 60 minutes:

1. I am competitive but don't expect to win on the first try
2. Trying a new sport for the first time, I should have put the competition aside and learned the art and technique of hitting the ball.
   
3. Super bouncy balls bounce where you hit them (assuming you know how to actually AIM where you want the ball to go)...off the ceiling, the light fixtures, the floor, and ideally the walls. I masted everything but the walls. (insert long sigh)
4. The walls are ROCK hard and when you run into them swinging a racket like you're swatting at a swarm of bees, it's going to hurt.
5. When running from side to side and all over the place swinging at the ball if it's anywhere close to where you are is not a great strategy for winning at racquetball, but it sure is a good workout! And obviously amusing to the punks waiting for their turn on the court.
   
6. The object of the game is not "just hit the ball before it hits the ground twice, no matter what it takes." There's actually form and strategy. I guess I'll work on that next time.
   

I think I must have looked like one of those giant inflatable thingies with flailing arms outside of cell phone stores. Only with a racket in my hand and running around chasing a super bouncy rubber ball. Even I can appreciate a missed YouTube opportunity when I experience one!