Monday, June 13, 2011

I should have left the house earlier

In case you haven't heard this story, it's WAY to funny to not blog. Here's the scoop:

It was last week...Thursday, June 9, 2011. I had been in Dallas (well, Plano, TX actually) for a full week already and was scheduled to visit a client in Stuttgart, Arkansas.

My flight to Little Rock was to depart at 6:55 am. I stayed with my in-laws who live only 15 minutes from Dallas-Ft. Worth International Airport (DFW).

The night before (Wednesday night) my mother-in-law and I discussed what time I would be getting up and leaving for the airport so that she would know why the dogs were barking in the wee morning hours. My plan was to get up at 4:30, hit the showers, and be out the door no later than 5:30 am.

At 3:45 I wake up, look at the clock and think "sweet! another hour of sleep" and fall back to sleep. Then I hear a tap on the door.

Carolyn: "Jenna, are you up"
Me: "Yeah, is everything OK."
Carolyn: "I don't know, are you up."
Me: "YES, are you OK?"
Carolyn: "Yeah, are you getting up"
Me: "Well, I am now, but it's only 4:50. I don't need to be up for another 45 minutes. Do you need something?"
Carolyn: "Oh, no, sorry, I thought you wanted to leave by 5:30"
Me: "HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!! Thank you! I am up now!"

Yep, I had 40 minutes to be client presentation worthy and out the door. Thank goodness I can be ready quickly when I have to.

5:30 am, I was out the door and on my way to return the rental car.

Returned the rental car by 5:50 and stood there waiting for the shuttle to the B terminal for 10 minutes. At 6:00 the manager told me to ride the bus to the A terminal and the driver would stop at B for me.

I confirmed with the driver he would stop at B.

Driver stopped at the A terminal, two people got off the bus, one got on. So, it was just me and one other guy.

Me: "Do you want me to get off here and take the sky link or will you stop at B"
Driver: "No, stay on the bus, I am going to B next."
Me: "Awesome, thank you!"

I watch the driver navigate the labyrinth that is DFW and am content that he's headed toward B. I look down to tweet some irrelevant fact and realize I've been on the bus too long. We are now headed back to the rental car facility.

Me: "Are we stopping at B?"
Driver: "Yeah, I forgot. I'll drop this guy off and take you back."
Me: "Um, that's not going to work for me. My flight leaves in 35 minutes."
Other Passenger: "Yeah, I have a meeting in Dallas at 8. I don't have time to go back to the terminal."
Me: "your car and meeting will be there if you are 10 minutes late. My plane will not be there if I am 10 minutes late."
Other Passenger: "Well, you should have left the house earlier."
Me: not out loud, but in my mind: "a$$hole"

We drop the guy at the facility and speed back to the B terminal. Security line is really long.

Me: "My flight leaves in 20 minutes. Is there any way that I could jump to the front of the line?"
TSA: "No. You should have left the house earlier."
Me: "yeah, that seems to be the consensus."

Finally through security 10 minutes before departure (and 12 gates away) I hear "Little Rock passenger Rowland, your flight is ready for departure and the door will be closing in 1 minute."

I run. In heels. Look like an idiot but JUST make the flight. People are staring at me. I am that guy, and yes, I know, I should have left the house earlier. I sit down. Buckle up and am ready to go. Breathe...

Pilot: "well, the ground crew forgot to load the gate check bags so we will be a few minutes late getting out of here but will be able to make it up in the air."
Me: "of course we will be late. I am sweating in a suit and my feet hurt. I could have walked."

Land in Little Rock, on time but I am starving! Haven't had anything to eat or drink. Walk across the hall to get a bagel with strawberry cream cheese (I couldn't resist!), a diet coke and HUGE bottle of water. Grab a stack of napkins for just in case.

Pick up rental car, confirm map. Let car get cooled down a little. Eat half the bagel and am ready to go.

Jump on highway, make first exit onto 2-lane highway for rest of route. Decide to finish bagel. Strawberry cream cheese is gooey from the heat. Drips out of dumb bagel, slides down my pinkie and onto the leg of my pants.

Me: "Awesome."
Me again: "I should have left the house earlier"

Reach for just-in-case-napkins. Left them on counter at bagel place.
Me: "Figures."

Pull to side of road in middle-of-nowhere-Arkansas and lick the cream cheese off my pants. Use water to dilute spot and say a prayer that it's not noticeable by the time I get to the bank.

Get to the bank with time to spare. Client is a friend of mine I have known since 2002 School of Bank Marketing.

Client: "Jenna, are you OK? Your eyes are HUGE." hand signals to her assistant
Me: "You are never going to believe the morning I've had"
Assistant walks in with a box of tissues and bottle of water.
Client: "It's ok, you are safe here. Do you want to talk about it?"
Assistant hands me the tissues, I burst out laughing! Not a sad story. No tissues necessary. I tell the story until we are all in hysterics and laughing until our eyes water and we all need a tissue. And the spot on my pants was not noticeable until I pointed it out to them.

On a totally unrelated note, a very dear friend of mine has asked me to be a guest blogger on her Design Thoughts blog. Kim is an amazing interior designer, new(ish) mom, and wonderful wife. If you take a peek at my guest post, peruse the rest of her site! Great design and decor ideas!

1 comment:

  1. Only you and your mom could tell this story. Really, you should have gotten up earlier! HaHa.

    Traveling sounds so glamourous to those who do not travel for business. It AIN'T no fun, ever! Well, there is the occasional time, but really, it is just one conference room after another, one airport after another, and A$$$holes all alone the way.

    You made me remember why I am so glad to be retired.