Faster!!

I have always had a knack for learning lessons the hard way.  And in May, I learned that if you run four miles  once a week then every Saturday run one more mile than you did the Saturday before, you can finish a half marathon...and get really close to a personal record (darn side stitch got me at mile 13!).  So, yeah, that was good to know.  But did you also know that this lack of running and lack of at least decent cross training can also lead to patellar tendonitis?  Yeah.  That's not so awesome.

My racing in started on April 28 with a 10 miler, then two more 10-mile long runs followed by a half marathon on May 19, and a 10k on May 27.  After that I took a much needed three week break to heal my achy knee and feet and ankles.

This week I am "easing" back into it.  I have another 10 mile race on Labor Day, a couple of fun 5k races and another half marathon in October.  This time, I am committed to the cross training.  And by "committed" I mean my orthopedic surgeon said that if I, "don't get in the gym and do SOMETHING other than run, then I am not a committed runner and will never be able to do this for the long term because it will ruin my legs."  Ok.  That's all I needed to hear! YIKES!!

Our air quality has been really poor so I have been hitting the treadmill a little more than I'd actually like to.  But at least I got two shorter runs in.  And two other cross training workouts that included an eliptical and a spin bike, each followed by some circuit strength training.

I know it's only been a week of effort but I feel really good.  Like "running five miles on Saturday will be pretty easy" good.  I feel stronger and faster than I did in May.  Maybe I just needed a little rest to recharge the batteries and heal my legs.  BRING. IT. ON!!

We pulled back the curtain and...

So the Wizard of Oz (our pediatric gastroenterologist) totally redeemed himself yesterday.  It was a rough start, though, so we were wondering how this conversation would go.  Our appointment time was 11:20 and at 12:40 we were still in the waiting room with a hungry toddler.  Thankfully, as any smart mom would,  I came prepared for the hungry toddler part!

We told the Wizard of our troubles with getting information from his medial assistant.  We also spoke of the waiting times in the waiting room.  The office manager was promptly called in and assured us that not only would we not be charged a copay for yesterday's visit, but our insurance company would not be billed either.  I didn't even know a doctor could do that.  I guess it's considered pro bono work. Regardless, after the discussion of our frustrations and his office staff not measuring up to the reputation of the doctors, we were more than satisfied with the outcome.

Now on to the results.  Nugget tested negative for all food allergies.  That's awesome.  But his labs came back positive for inflammation, and the upper portion of his small intestine was inflamed and irritated which is typically indicative of a food allergy.  The Wizard believes that Nugget was born with an allergy to something (most likely dairy...which explains all the formula issues we had) but has outgrown it.  Unfortunately, until the inflammation and irritation in his small intestine subsides he will not be asymptomatic even though he's outgrown the allergy.  Sounds confusing, huh?!?!

So here's the plan.  We've switched Nuggs from Prevacid (there is no evidence of him ever having reflux, but the symptoms of reflux and a food allergy in infants are very similar. Without testing there's no way to know for sure.) to an antihistamine that will help calm the inflammation in his small intestine as well as a combo medication that is another form of antihistamine combined with an appetite stimulant.

His growth trajectory not only did not improve, it actually got a little worse (he's under the 2nd percentile in weight) because he is growing taller but not gaining weight.  Everyone is hopeful that these two medications for a short period of time will right the ship.  We have six weeks to put a pound and a half on the little man.

So, how are we going to do that, you ask? That's the fun part!  We've been asked to turn Nugget into his Papa.  Per the Wizard's orders, "put peanut butter on everything.  Anything that you can imagine would be good with peanut butter, spread it on, including spoons.  And don't use the healthy, grind-your-own, all natural, Boulder-esque peanut butter. I want you using Jiff or Skippy or another brand with added fat and oil."  Ummm...OK!

Here's why. You make 19% of your brain cells after birth.  In order to make lots of them (according to the Wizard, this can equate to up to 9 IQ points), you need fat and protein as an infant and toddler.  Especially the fat.  Lots and lots of fat! And because there isn't much irreparable harm caused with food this early in life, its' best to load kids up on fat from sources like avocados, peanuts, almonds, and olive oil.  BTW, for you naysayers out there, in April of this year, the AMA and the American Association of Pediatrics released new guidelines with regard to peanuts and children.  And the new ruling is to feed your kids peanut butter much earlier in that it greatly decreases the likelihood of a peanut allergy.

Maybe we should rename Nugget to Skippy!  Nah.  We like Nugget.  Here's hoping that in six weeks we have a chunky Nugget!

The hope of an angry momma bear...

Today is the day we've been waiting for since May 20.  Actually, this dates back way farther than that...like months and months.  Maybe even 9 or 10 months.  

Bryan has been through the ringer. Between the dozen ear infections in 6 months, the reflux, the persistent cough and the bazillion doctor appointments, I am amazed that he hasn't tried to run away yet!  We keep telling ourselves that despite the "concerning" weight loss and frequent typical childhood sickness, we have a really happy little boy.  Not only is he really happy, he's developmentally either right on or slightly ahead of the curve.  You'd never know by spending a day (or a week, or a month) with him that he's been through so much.  Even at his fussiest, he's not nearly as fussy as his otherwise healthy "friends" at daycare.  

Here's the list of what we are really hoping to learn today (emphasis on HOPING):

1. We missed the mark on the dairy "allergy."  There really isn't one and we can start re-introducing dairy products again (or at least soy).
2. We can stop giving him the toddler formula that costs $35 for 8 bottles, smells and tastes like a marshmallow and is 54% corn syrup (no joke. That's what the label indicates!)
3. There is nothing anatomically, or physically "wrong" with Bryan.  The endoscopy tells us that he's totally normal.
4. There are no other food allergies
5. Our kid is just a really picky eater and we will have to keep trying new foods until we find what he loves the most
6. He's gained enough weight that he's back on the growth chart and is no longer considered tiny for his age.  And even if he is tiny, we will just be happy if his growth trajectory is headed in the correct direction!

And here is what we are hoping our doctor will learn today (actually, he will learn this. I am taking a list with me!):

1. When you tell parents that this is an urgent matter and that it cannot wait a month, you must also be prepared to arrange your schedule such that you can follow up with said parents in a reasonable amount of time.  
2. A month later is not a reasonable amount of time.
3. When you tell parents that you will take their call to discuss results so that they don't have to wait a month, you need to provide them with the best way to contact you. 
4. Your medical assistant is not the best way to contact you.
5. When a parent leaves a voice mail for your medical assistant asking questions two days after surgery, they expect a call-back the same day... or at least within 24 hours.
6. When parents don't get called back, they will call again and leave a second message.  They expect a call back within 24 hours.
7. If a parent has to call back a third time on a third day because nobody has returned their call, expect an earful from a pissed off mom.  
8. I am that mom.  Sorry about your luck.
9. If your medical assistant thinks it's OK to not respond to a distressed mom,  you need a new medical assistant. 
10. If you piss of a mom, she'll tell everyone she knows, including the pediatrician and managing physician of the practice that sent her child to you.
11. Make it right by the mom or she'll blog it, hashtag it and make sure the entire area knows how great you are but how lousy your practice is.  Don't expect your "best of the best" award for 2013.

I feel like this doctor is the Wizard of Oz.  He's capable of a lot of awesome stuff, but when you pull back the curtain, he's just a smart man with some fancy machines.  He's no better than we are. He just knows different stuff. But for him to perceptually hold the keys to our kingdom for a month has been tortuous.  Like flying monkeys and wicked witches tortuous.  

But in two hours, everything will be different.  I hope.

Oopss. Sorry about the delay

I think I've opened blogger two dozen times since my last post.  It's been a bit of a whirlwind since then. Some fun stuff, some interesting stuff, some scary stuff.  And most of you know about Bryan's challenges with weight loss (2 lbs in about a month is too much for a baby).  And to be completely honest, if I had blogged as we traveled this extremely bumpy road, I am not sure you would have continued following me.  It has been two months of tears, frustration, trial and error, accomplishments and setbacks.  Two "surgeries" (ear tubes and an endoscopy) and a GI x-ray and we know no more today than we did when this all started at the beginning of April.  And to rehash all of it just makes me sad.  So I am not going to.  Let's consider today a fresh start.  I'll fill you in if we actually learn anything, but in the meantime, let's focus on the good stuff!

Here's a brief description with accompanying picture and/or video that will paint the picture of our lives in the past few months (and believe it or not, they are in chronological order!)

Brown Bear cake turned out pretty well!

new bike

Blocks in a wagon.

first bubbles

digging in!

first cake

coy

cute

curious

not sure what that look is!

best friends

the day of ear tubes

what a ham!

I caught his first steps on video!

love the bunny

Nupboard in the cupboard.

We are almost there

The one year mark.  So much has changed in a year.  The fact that I have locks on my kitchen cabinets makes me giggle a little.  I feel like I am growing along with Bryan...at a similar pace.  The things I used to worry about before I let roll off my shoulders now.  Here's a short list of the things that stressed me out six months ago:

1. Is Bryan eating enough
2. Is he developmentally average
3. Is the floor clean enough
4. Is everything clean enough
5. I am sweaty...I shouldn't hold him
6. Is he sleeping enough
7. Am I doing this right

Here's my take on that list today:

1. He ate. And pushed the bottle/spoon/food away.  Good enough.
2. He's keeping up with the Jones' in his daycare class. Good enough for me!
3. Is the floor dirtier at home than at daycare? If you can't see dirt/debris/dog hair, it's clean enough. I vacuum once a week.
4. Yes. Everything is clean enough. 
5. Yep. I am sweaty. Put a long sleeved t-shirt on and get over it. He'll learn to appreciate what I did to get sweaty.
6. If he sleeps until morning and takes a nap during the day, he's sleeping enough. He'll let me know when he's tired.
7. Who knows what "right" is, and who gets to be the judge of that?  Dumber people than me have raised perfectly wonderful children.  

Overall, I have an extremely happy, generally healthy 12-month old baby boy.  Kids in daycare get sick.  But better now when attendance doesn't matter than when he's 5 and it does.  In 12 months, that kid has had 6 ear infections, several colds, croup, influenza a, gastroenteritis, 2 throat infections (non-strep) and one weird virus that just caused a fever.  That's enough.  I also had all of those things (but only 2 ear infections, and bronchitis twice).  We hear that year two is much easier on the pediatrician co-pay budget.  Here's hoping!  

The best part of all of this.  Bryan has a very keen sense of what he wants and what he does NOT want.  It sure makes our life easier to not have to guess at so much stuff.  And that kid laughs at everything.  Is there any better sound in the world than the laughter of a child?  

Bryan Bear, Bryan Bear...

What do you see?  I see my mommy acting like a crazy person and thinking she's good at art when she really isn't.  That's what I see.

Or something like that.  Wondering what I am talking about?  Remember back to a couple weeks ago when I posted this about my Amazing Bar.  Well, it ended up being a little more complicated than I had envisioned.  Wait, back up... Here's a recap of how my Amazing Bar came crashing down to a height of humbleness because of a hand print.

A couple weekends ago, I decided to run some recon on my ideas for Bryan's birthday party.  Keep in my the guest list includes the three of us and Bryan's four grandparents.  That's it.  Six adults and the birthday boy.  I am planning to execute a "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See?" theme.  Because I think fondant on a cake is disgusting and not really edible, I thought, "hmmmm...could I put sugar cookies around the cake as decorations?"  Of course you can.  It's my idea. I can do whatever I want to, right!?!?

Well, it took me a while to realize that I was going to have to order cookie cutters, find a recipe for the cookies and the frosting and bake them.  I perused Amazon and the standard cooking websites for the cutters and came up empty. Until I found the Cookie Cutter Company where I could pick and choose individual cutters to find exactly what I wanted.  And they came as expected, were not very expensive and totally worth it.  I found Alton Brown's sugar cookie recipe here and baked them up.  I am thinking that I don't actually care for sugar cookies. These were bland. At best.  But cute!!  Here are the first three I tested with:  Green Frog Green Frog, Red Bird Red Bird and Brown Bear Brown Bear.

The cookies were cute but a little lackluster in the taste department.  But the most valuable lesson I learned:  Ingesting that much food coloring has consequences that can cause unnecessary concern (use your imagination, people... and think: toilet).  So, that idea is a no-go. I may be back on fondant since you shouldn't eat that much food coloring, and nobody eats fondant.

Up next:  The invitations.
Let's start with the idea.  I wanted to take Bryan's hand print in brown finger paint and where his thumb would be, I wanted to put a bear head.  This would make it look like Brown Bear, Brown Bear, right?  Sure.  That prompted four trips to Target and two to Michael's.  I started with brown felt, scissors, brown paint and white note cards.  First mistake...the paint. I needed non-toxic finger paint.  Back to Target.  Second mistake...my scissors were really dull.  Back to Michael's where I picked up a super awesome scrapbooking razor thingie.  Have I mentioned how badly I suck at arts and crafts?  Third mistake...trying to razor cut brown felt into a bear head. Back to Target for brown construction paper.  Fourth mistake...black Sharpie does not do well on white note cards.  Or the other white note card underneath.  Back to Target for Crayola markers.  Fifth mistake... making eyeballs with said Sharpie.  Back to Michael's for googly eyes.  Sigh.

When I finally sat down to make the bear heads, so that I didn't waste perfectly terrible brown felt circle-ish shapes, I used them to make ears and a nose for the bear.  Not to self.  Razor STILL does not work well on felt.  Neither did the super dull scissors.  Louder sigh.  I refuse to go back out at this point.  Don't forget, I am only making 2 invitations.  Seriously.  Just two.  It was now time to assemble the bear heads.  Uh oh.  Being a new mom, I don't have Elmer's in this house.  Nor do I have a hot glue gun.  Or any other adhesive that is intended for arts and crafts rather than permanently bonding something to something else.  So, super glue it is.  Do you know what happens when you super glue two tiny felt bear ears and a tiny felt bear nose to paper?  The glue soaks through.  Do you know what happens when super glue soaks through said brown felt?  It sticks to your fingers.  Do you know what happens when said brown felt is super glued to your fingers?  You laugh hysterically and add Elmers to the grocery list.  Also, you ask for help putting contacts in because for the next 24 hours it looks like you are growing brown hair from your thumb and index fingers.  Loudest sigh EVER.

The bear faces turned out OK.  I traced them from the cover of the book onto tracing paper, then used the razor to cut the tracing paper and construction paper at the same time.  It worked. In hindsight, just plain circles probably would have been cuter.  On to the hand print.

Did you know they don't make brown finger paint?  But thanks to the food coloring fiasco (and the back of the food coloring box), I knew the proportions to mix different colors into brown. So that was great.  What wasn't great?  Getting a 10-month-old baby to flatten out his paint-filled hand to make an obvious looking hand print.  I grossly overestimated Bryan's level of comprehension of the fun this task could be.  Oh, and my kid HATES getting his hands yucky.  A great trait he inherited from me.  Sorry about that, Nuggs.  So, while they didn't quite meet my Amazing Bar, they certainly humbled me.  And the grandparents loved them.  My intention is to take on a craft every couple of months until I am a badass mother crafter.  Take that Pinterest!

Oh, and here's the finished project.

Trying...

Let's think about this for a minute.  

"It is common sense to take a method and try it.  If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something."  Franklin D. Roosevelt.

"I have learned that the success is to be measured  not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he as had to overcome while trying to succeed."  Booker T. Washington

I think sometimes we use inspirational quotes like these to make us feel better when we have not had the success we were so determined to achieve.  For some, Franklin Roosevelt and Booker T. Washington will inspire you to try again...maybe the same thing in a new way, maybe something new altogether.  There are others who will hear these words and think, "Oh well.  I tried." and walk away.  I am a member of the first group.

I will not give up.  I am braver than I believe, stronger than I seem and smarter than I think.  I have never regretted trying. Because when I try and fail, I do not give up.  But I already said that.  So, to the pile of brainy thoughts for the day, I give you this:

"What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?" Vincent van Gogh

If you'll remember, I had a pretty lofty goal of running 1,000 miles in 2013.  Well, I am almost certain that there's no way for me to meet that goal.  Here I am on March 14 telling you this. But I am not admitting defeat or failure.  I am telling you that, while I may not reach the 1,000 mile mark, I will complete 2 or 3 half-marathons, a 10-k race, a 10-miler, and probably a few 5k races too.  So rather than saying I failed, I am choosing to look at the bigger picture.  I am 100% on track for my other two goals (taking better care of myself and being a better friend).  And I will complete all the races.  But I may not get all my training runs in. And that's OK. Because taking better care of myself also means taking care of my family.  And their needs (ok, Bryan's needs!) must come before my running.

I  my weakest running moments (and it seems there have been many lately) I have spiced up my mantra a bit.  In addition to my mantra of braver-stronger-smarter, I have added "Do or do not. There is no try."  Thanks, Yoda!